Last night I was so down with everything that has been going on. I kept telling my heart that God knows what I am going through and has walked through it before I even knew I would have this problem. But I was having a hard time getting it from my head to my heart. I just wanted to sit there and cry. It seems like life just gets harder every time I think we are going to get a break. And there did not seem any good way out of this problem. I will relate the full story as soon as I can, but for now you just get the generic, vague versions. Sorry!
But right before I went to bed, after about six hours of feeling desparate and lonely and tired, the verse "Weeping endures for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." came to my heart. I decided to go to sleep and rest, not worrying about what would come next. Not much has really changed, but my heart is at peace now. I am not frantic like I was feeling yesterday. There are so many big decisions to be made starting today, but everything will be okay and God will provide exceedingly. A few days ago, we were in great need of a miracle and someone mentioned that God owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Tal laughed and said, yeah, but sometimes I wish they were already sold and slaughtered. I guess that is where I was yesterday. I knew God had the resources to help me, but I wished I could already have it in the bank.
Elisabeth Elliot said this today. So right for me.....
Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen
When we begin to imagine that our own problems are so deep, so insoluble, or so unusual that no one really understands us, we delude ourselves. It is one of the many delusions of pride, for Scripture tells us not only that our High Priest, Christ, has been tempted in every way as we are, but that no temptation has ever come our way that is not common to man. There are no more new temptations than there are new sins. Our story, whatever it is, is an old one, and He who has walked the human road has entered fully into our experiences of sorrow and pain and has overcome them. He has comforted others in our situation, gone with them into the same furnaces and lions' dens, has brought them out without smell of fire or mark of tooth.
It is a bad thing to take refuge in difficulties, thus excusing ourselves from responsibility to others because we think our situation is unique. If we are willing to receive help, our Helper is standing by--sometimes in the form of another human being sent by Him, qualified by Him to help us. It may be a case of our not receiving help because we were too proud to receive the kind God sent. Sometimes we really prefer to wallow.
"Ours is not a high priest unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who, because of his likeness to us, has been tested every way, only without sin. Let us therefore boldly approach the throne of our gracious God, where we may receive mercy and in his grace find timely help" (Heb 4:15, 16 NEB).
So that is my story for the morning. Thanks for the constant prayers.